Almost ready for surgery

I’m done stalling.

I can afford to pay for all the surgery expenses so why wait. I have nothing to lose or gain from postponing it. The earlier I do it and get it over with the better for my ever so occupied mind.

I’ve been scheduled for an MRI tomorrow morning. When the result comes out and the doctor reviews them I will be scheduled for my surgery.

Sometimes I’m scared, sometimes I’m confused, sometimes I’m reluctant for no reason, sometimes I feel nothing. The feeling of ‘nothing’ engulfs other feelings. Nothing. More like que sera sera.

After the surgery, I need to get pregnant. So I’ll be searching for a sperm donor or …….actually, a sperm donor. There are no other options. Unless of course I want to adopt and the process to do this is such an awful mess in this godforsaken country!

That’s that.

oh, If anyone has had the keyhole surgery for fibroids removal before please let me know your experience or link to your blog, I’d love to know what the first few days and 2/3 weeks are like. I already read a few stuff online but would love to hear more.

Also, I have no one to take care of me after my surgery so I’d love to hear from whoever went home alone, how did you cope, what would you have done differently.

I’m on google a lot researching what to eat after the surgery, hoping to fill up my fridge right before the surgery. Any hint and advise from anyone will help right now.  🙂

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Exodus 20:5 is a Bible verse I do not like. There is nothing reassuring or hopeful about that verse. I wish I had never seen it. For someone like me who is fast losing faith, I shouldn’t have seen it.

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