Not Rowntrees.


Sad I’m not pregnant. Happy Because I can now carefully choose my child’s father if necessary.

Happy the weather is same as London. Sad I’m still here and having to deal with foolish people.

Sad I MIGHT have to move in with my sister early next year. Happy I’ll be leaving my current Estate finally. I’ve been around for 7 years.

Happy I’m back to jogging now. Sad my stomach is still sitting on my laps.

Basically, those are my random fluctuating emotions.


I have a recurrent dream.

Me in a dirty very filthy place. Trying to find my way out.

I have the same dream but in different settings. A filthy school, filthy office, filthy mall… When I say FILTHY, I mean it in the real sense of the word. Disgustingly dirty to an extreme level. Stored up poop and dead things, decay decay decay…and the worst stench you can ever imagine.

I always find myself in a place like that. Irritated and wondering why I am there and trying to get myself out. And in the dream I always look immaculate.

I wish someone could interpret the dream to me.

But, Without thinking too much it could simply mean that I’m in a filthy relationship/environment/COUNTRY and I need to get the fuck out!

But, Something keeps telling me it could mean more than that.

I wish I knew a psychic. Or a Palm reader. Or a Oneirocritic.

Do I believe in such things? hmmn, I watch horror movies. Movies on Exorcism are my favorite.



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